Could You Completely Leave Social Media (Except Reddit)?

An introduction to a newsletter about disconnecting & reconnecting

At a friend’s party on a sunny September afternoon, I met someone who had quit all social media accounts years ago. I was impressed — he didn’t seem like he was missing anything. And he did still use reddit, an exception we both understood.

Squinting through the late afternoon sun, the two of us related on how the likes of Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook seemed to create an alternate world that diverted us from what mattered in the real one. And what mattered, we mused, was around us: coming together, courtesy of our friend, to enjoy the beautiful weather, drinks, music, each other.

Staying connected after disconnecting

I reflected on my own journey. I was an early adopter, starting with Friendster. Facebook came during my sophomore year of college, and I joined right away, as I did with each successive app (Twitter, Instagram, Vine…). In the early days, it felt fun and novel to post a photo on Instagram of a charming store window or my Halloween costume, to make joke Twitter accounts with friends, to share op-eds on Facebook believing I could change minds.

The time between those early days and now is a story of lost youth — mine, and social media’s. I’m sure many of you can relate. Brands joined social media, the Arab Spring happened, influencers made us question if everyone we knew was selling something, and of course, along came Trump. As someone who works in communications, social media became part of my job, and that, maybe, was the death knell for me.

And yet, for awhile I still spent a lot of time on it. During the pandemic, I’d fall asleep scrolling through Twitter feeds about border closures and mask arguments in grocery stores. It sat with me that this was mostly making me feel more hopeless. I wasn’t connecting with anyone. The social media medium made it feel like anything I wrote that wasn’t of a certain register wouldn’t land, and so it didn’t feel worth it.

Around this time, I began reporting about social media’s impact on focus, mental health, and our perception of reality, and how Generation Z is trying to change their relationship with it. All of this led me to minimize my time on the apps, and even I go off completely.

Now, I probably average about 30 minutes to an hour total on apps each week mostly for work, and then to see what family or friends are up to, sell stuff on Marketplace, and check the news. That I don’t stay on long is a testament to how apps make me either feel anxious or like I’m doing a chore. So much so that, when I started an Instagram account to chronicle an effort by my partner and I to eat at every restaurant in our neighborhood in the course of one year, I had trouble keeping it going.

From working in communications and marketing, I’ve had to grapple with the reality that social media is effective, at selling anything from a suitcase to a college education. It’s hard if you work in my field to shun it entirely.

And being minimally on social media has its challenges. I miss life updates from friends I care about and events I might attend. My world can feel small, and I wonder about my relevance.

Yet, there’s no part of me that desires to use social media. Instead, I desire for others to be off social media too, for us all to be more present in the real world. Our current place reminds me of Cézanne’s Village Square, an idyllic town center devoid of people.

An idyllic, yet empty town square. Village Square (Place de village) (ca.1881) by Paul Cézanne. Original from Barnes Foundation. Digitally enhanced by rawpixel.

Maybe it’s too late to go back to a social media free world? Maybe I am burying my head in the sand? Could I just understand how to use it thoughtfully? Are there other people who feel the same way?

What this newsletter is about

I have a hunch I’m not the only one asking these questions. I want to use this newsletter as a way for people who are grappling with these issues to connect. I want to explore how people are navigating their use of social media in a world where we understand these tools’ negative effects and at the same time we rely on them practically as a utility. So much is going on beyond the feed, and yet so much of the focus is around the feed.

The goal of this newsletter is to spotlight people, communities, and tools of a social media minimalist world, filling the void that going off social media can create. What does it look like to take a business off of Instagram? How do you keep in touch with friends when you delete your Facebook account? Is there a more sustainable way to follow news, so you can stay engaged without being on X? I don’t actually know how much I’ll find. Again, maybe we’re too far gone. Maybe we’re all tired of reading about this subject, or simply reading online. (I know I often am). But I am excited to try. I’ll share my own challenges around social media. But what I’d most love is to hear from you. If you know people living this minimalist lifestyle or have ideas for stories, let’s explore them together in this newsletter.